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Sunday, March 16, 2025

For The Love Of God, Do not Strive To Shoot Down Drones, Even If You Assume They’re Alien Invaders


Of us in and round New Jersey misplaced their minds just lately, and never simply because they heard rumors that individuals could be allowed to pump their very own gasoline. No, it’s as a result of they maintain seeing issues within the sky which will or is probably not drones, and it triggered them to completely freak the fuck out. Is it aliens? China? Aliens working with China? The official line is {that a} change within the legislation now permits individuals to fly drones at night time, and that’s liable for a lot of the sightings. I can’t say for certain, however what I’ll say is that you shouldn’t shoot at these issues within the sky beneath any circumstances.

In case you legitimately consider we’re being invaded, it’s comprehensible that you simply would possibly need to stand your floor. That is America, in any case. We’re the land of the free and the house of the courageous, and don’t you dare inform us in regards to the absolute sea of asterisks that come hooked up to these statements except you need to get shot, too. Heck, we even just lately started an experiment to see if we might resolve our healthcare disaster with gun violence.

Similar to when Luigi Macaroni allegedly killed that insurance coverage CEO, although, if you happen to get caught capturing at unknown issues within the sky, the police will arrest you, authorities will cost you with numerous crimes and also you or your loved ones might be pressured to spend a small fortune on legal professionals earlier than you’re inevitably convicted and punished. Even if you happen to don’t get caught, it’s nonetheless an extremely reckless and irresponsible factor to do as a result of there’s an honest likelihood that soiled, purple commie drone you noticed was only a common plane with precise individuals inside, and you can simply kill them since, you already know, you’re capturing a gun at an object within the sky, and that’s what weapons do. They kill issues.

In reality, the freakout has gotten so dangerous that the FBI just lately issued a warning in opposition to capturing at objects within the sky, in addition to shining laser pointers at them. As a result of apparently that must be relitigated once more. Sure, it’s nonetheless unlawful to shine lasers at plane. In reality, earlier this yr, a person who did precisely that obtained eight months in jail. Even if you happen to suppose you’re robust, are you eight-months-in-prison robust? No? Precisely.

Except for the hazard to different individuals’s lives and threat of going to jail if you happen to’re caught, capturing at plane additionally violates one of the crucial primary guidelines of gun security. You’re imagined to know what you’re capturing at earlier than you pull the set off, in addition to what’s behind the factor you’re capturing at. There’s simply as a lot of an opportunity that you simply’re capturing at a airplane, helicopter and even the celebs that type Orion’s belt as there’s that you simply’re about to take down an alien starship or a drone managed by the Chinese language army. And if we don’t know what it’s, we don’t shoot at it.

That’s in all probability an excessive amount of to ask from individuals with the identical lead-addled brains that determined Trump deserved a second time period in workplace, however hey, you’ll be able to’t say we didn’t warn you, Marge. In case you get arrested for capturing down a drone or shining a laser pointer at a helicopter, it certain as hell received’t be Jalopnik’s fault.

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